A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 04/07/22

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Thursday, April 7, 2022

An Inventory of Troubles

The Questioner from inside the brain asks the brain: “Why are you in conflict?

Here I am. Age about 40. A man. Very confused. So confused am I that I begged for help from some folks who told me they had been as confused as me and found freedom from it. I wanted that, too, finally. Up to that moment I had rather die confused than accept help. Getting help on life’s tests was cheating had been hammered into me at school. So, my brain began to reply to the Questioner by saying, “It’s been hammered into me all my life”. What do you expect of such a poor fellow as Me?” As the brain moved on in answer to the Questioner it discovered so many ideas it had in it that were so fierce it began to hurt. It ended up at I cannot stand myself. I had been sent to Sunday School as a lad to study the life of Jesus Christ and was asked by a parent at home, “Who do you think you are, Jesus Christ?” Then I was punished in front of friends from school. I was crushed to have failed so. That was my brush with religion as I understood it to be.

I do not need to go through the long list of the many ways I thought that I failed to measure up to what a man is supposed to be for all people to understand it. I was stranded in a world in which I am unworthy doing my best to become worthy or at least to hide as much of my unworthiness as possible from the authorities whoever they are. And I resolved to change. Many elaborate plans were made. Failed to change time after time.

The important thing my brain told the Questioner was that it had been loaded with problems to solve from the earliest days of life. What can be expected from such an abused brain? It was predetermined to fail. More and more confusion and conflict was its certain destiny. Suddenly, like a flash, I forgave my brain for even trying to manage such a goofy life and began anew. What would follow was completely unknown to me. Had to be.

But on this occasion I act, now, knowing all of time, the past, the present, and the future, are contained in the now. All problems require time and all time is contained in now. It is called by ancestors renunciation. Nevermore will I load up my brain with problems of its own. All are mine. Removing myself solves the problem instantly. This is my brain speaking. Problems imply time for their solution. I deal with them now! It has become impossible for them to pile up. My brain is free now.

I am what I am and it’s all I can be. I am fully appropriate to live a human life by my nature which is human when my brain is completely free of problems…not a single one does it carry. Free, it solves every problem by removing the cause

immediately!

Note: What is not to be explained in words at all is the experience of someone who vanishes and does not want to be found. Or, what is an authentic human being (as opposed to a sponge) really like? The only treat I’ll toss is -creative. Find for yourself the difference between invention and creativity! It’s so much fun!