A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 04/29/21

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Thursday, April 29, 2021

WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?

Do you want to know what it is you do not know, or not? Do you prefer to remain ignorant as you believe that way is safer for you than knowing?

Sounds to me like you are saying you want the unknown to be revealed but first you want to know what it is going to be, is that so?

Do you not see clearly how stupid that is? See how you have canceled what it is you ask for in the same breath? It was promised long ago, “Ask and you shall receive” but it was not suggested you will receive what you ask not for.

I had a friend once tell me she wanted both knowledge and ignorance. I pitied her. Does she want a ridiculous and trivial thing or does she want something deeper? You are confused when you say I do not know but want to know but first want a guarantee that I will like it. Now you see clearly, make use of it for its value is beyond measure. Remain in clarity.