How I Built My Image of a “Separate Self”
First came “responsibility” followed immediately by “problems”. That is the self. Responsibility and problems. The self is an imaginary being who gets punished and rewarded. That seems completely outside the realm of “freedom”. Even a child, maybe especially a child, has got to scratch its head in wonder about that one. The child is told “you are free to be anything you want to be as long as it is what I want for you”.
Once in place, “Self” keeps a dreamer asleep and dull. When challenged as not real that self recoils and will first say things like: “You don’t understand. I have responsibilities. I must care for my spouse, my parents, my children, my career, continually update my plan of wider and wider responsibility, and all the rest. And I have many problems, you see, problems that you say you do not have, so, I am sorry but I cannot listen to or understand you.” If the challenge continues, and it will continue even without the challenger as the conditioned mind picks up this as a serious threat and wants to try to protect itself against heresy and imagined chaos. Self fears, most of all, freedom.
As a child self was taught that with freedom comes responsibility. That is a paradox. Makes “responsibility” and “freedom” elusive indeed. Responsibility to whom for what? God(s)? Country? Parents? Bosses? Commanders? And, more importantly, just how far does freedom extend? Does the “catch” snatch away the freedom altogether? If one is set free by any of these superiors doesn’t that have to mean there is full trust? If the trust be justified the only responsibility is to freedom as a fact not an ideal and that truth nullifies responsibility. Which do you prefer? Freedom or duty? Self is scared to death by freedom…and that’s no joke. What’s behind that?
Some folks say aliens have been behind this situation for thousands, even hundreds of thousands, of years here on Earth. Ancients left scrolls that were carefully prepared to last a very long time which they apparently hoped would eventually be found and translated. These scrolls indicate some, perhaps several different groups, of aliens have been warring here to colonize the beings they found here as slaves to their alien programs. Hence all the books, movies, plays, etc. created to stimulate wide interest in the subject…including Star Wars! It is significant that some humans have practiced this very way against other humans and named it “colonization” and written it up as “history”. Wars and colonization and rebellion. Sums up history…oh, add “plagues”. It is not coincidental that selves write and speak of weather and disease as “enemies” to be fought and conquered. Hmmm. Guilt pours forth from responsibility. Punishment from guilt.
Also, all the many gurus all around the planet who have definitely attracted large crowds of followers have been teaching there is a lot going on here of a spectacular and unknown nature that has led only a few to have much happier lives than all others. People sense the need for help. That is about it. What help?
Well, it may be help to actually awaken from a deep sleep. At a point the urge to awaken in the slave will become so intense the dream background will be pushed far enough back to permit the dreamer to wake up to reality. Christians say you find Jesus Christ in you, for instance. That name is background from the dream consciousness and has a hold on those who have a Christian background. The other religions are much the same. The teacher in each story was attempting to awaken those present by showing he is just like them and it is so. All humans carry the entire consciousness of all humanity and that knowing itself is salvation. Self is but an image. Is it not obvious an image has no power but that given it by something that does have it? And if you do have it? What? It means, literally, each of us is what we wish we could be…as we are now! Be you. The true master will be overjoyed!
PART TWO
And the waking up thing never ends since reality is unlimited. What waking up does end is the vulnerability to anyone or thing that might try to exploit again. What is present is what is. The past and the future are in the present and that fact is a powerful one. The operators are looking for someone under a spell believing the future is a fact which can be managed in the present that makes them “become” over time what they “wish” to be by sacrificing the present (which is all that there is or ever will be). However, by grace, these operators do not even see the human who is selfless because “selves” are caught between a rock and a hard place. They are attracted to a career where they can do “good”. When they get inside they learn the people inside are corrupt liars. By now they have a spouse, some children and a mortgage and a dream of becoming. That’s the hard place…the future to which they have been committed is the rock. Self concludes it’s a sorry world but there is no other as it struggles in its futile effort hoping to do what’s never been done. The selfless know peace and tranquility now. Big difference.
Everyone has been told that real freedom is not possible for living humans on Earth now, but, not to worry, you will find it after you die “up there”. What else has come from up there? Wherever you stand on the round ball of Earth up there is outer space. Real freedom is simple. It is a life lived moment-to-moment. Not dependent on a future, it is motiveless, open to the greatness in each moment. What you see is what you get.
It’s like a wild horse has built in its genes over eons of time an instinct that when anything gets on my back I must get it off as quickly as I can all else be damned and I must keep my neck free of its teeth. A cowboy ropes the horse. He gets the job to ride it. For a dollar. A cowboy who is free of self or motive approaches the animal knowing its fear of weight on its back and will only wish to make a friend and automatically allow the horse to be in complete charge of any ride that might take place. The selfless cowboy will ride the horse if and when the horse offers the ride. The dollar is of no importance to the cowboy whatsoever. Is it possible to live this way? Investigate with no motive. A motive distorts vision. Find out. A man is introduced to a pretty woman and told “she just might give you a thrill if you treat her right”. So, is it possible for the man to treat her right with no thought of a reward? Investigate. With no motive. Find out.
When self is absent the background noise in one’s consciousness is pushed back so far that reality in the moment is all that matters. What is right in front of you is clearly seen. It cannot be more plain. What you see is what you get…as a way of life.
Investigate. With no motive. Find out.
PART THREE
What is or was a self ever good for in the first place? Trouble is my answer.
You go see a movie. To relax and find some escape from daily troubles self imagines to be real and important. “Imagines”. “Real”. “Important”. That is the work of self.
Seated in the theater, what do you know of how the picture made its way to you? The studio head made the decision to make it and to keep in going after it was begun. What are his or her selfish motives?
The producer(s). What do they do? They are mostly concerned with the moneys spent and the money to be realized on the picture- if they do anything. Most producers listed in credits do nothing but draw a piece of any profit.
The director and actors and crew do the creative work represented in what they hope to be art. Something we call a story is offered up. A story is an attempt to discuss, using thought and time, some mishmash of events that will take place on the screen. Is the purpose of telling a story to take the audience away from the story their own self tells them? Perchance to add a bit of advice? Or, comic relief? Or, to console? Action pictures can offer a feeling of revenge against those thought to have harmed the hero or to be standing in the way of his dreamed up utopia. As such, the hero is a stand-in for the self of each member of an audience, right? The self can pretend to experience revenge vicariously. That’s harmless fun, right? Well, it’s okay for the selves who are willing to go back to their own show on Monday to face the story of their lives with only some pretense revenge has happened for them or will happen someday. Consider this: do you know any more about the background of the self you claim as you is telling you constantly than you know of about the movie from Hollywood you go to watch? I like films, I do. I am only not so hot on “self”.
What would a life be like if thought and time could cease being used to narrate it? It would, would it not, be a life beyond both time and thought. Or, would life stop? Dogs and cats and goldfish live. Can you find out whether time and thought are required inwardly for a healthy human existence? If one human has done it, why not you? Ask to meet nobody.
Nobody knows you better than you know your…self?
