A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 12/17/17

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Sunday, December 17, 2017

A Good Use Of Time

I want to talk about something that there are no words to speak of it. I want to share my experience about a truth no words can possibly reach. I want to talk about that which ends all debate before it is too late...the doors to Heaven shall never close though everything else surely closes and remains in stillness for eons that is not the problem the problem is that people reject anything they cannot see themselves managing in some way no it is not that it is not the people who reject it is the impostor within the minds of people who rejects and language built it and keeps it locked up in dictionaries nobody agrees upon as the Right Dictionary.

There is no truth in dictionaries. There is no truth in science books. All books by their nature deny truth. You know this and you read without the protection of that knowledge and that is a setup for misery. There is no truth save the one you feel.

I aim to draw a distinction with words which shows their deadly purpose to ruin your life if you are not careful. The key is to be like a man who trains wild cats and who never forgets even for a second the necessity of maintaining the control inside the arena. One cat who senses you have forgotten that can spoil your act in a flash of claw and teeth. Words are like that cat. Follow along.

I have a connection to some source that is felt in every breath I am given. Without that all my issues cease to matter. My children will no longer speak to me and my grandchildren will not care to be around me. I will be forgotten. All I own will no longer be mine. Nobody will ask my opinion. It will not even matter to me that some kind individual sets a place for me at the table in his house if I cannot be there. The hope that after my demise someone will pick up a scrap I leave behind and cherish it a moment is nothing to me if I am unaware. Knowing this forces me to a deeper awareness of the importance of the here and now...to me. Which reminds me of the grandest gift, the gift of all gifts, this breath is given without strings. Imagine such a giver! I pay it absolutely no attention for many, many years and still it is given without missing a beat.

My everything felt.

I am encouraged by this to spend some of my life in the sole company of the source I mentioned I know by my breath. Closing the eyes in my head draws my attention in a stronger way to that inhaling that must lead to the next exhale until the last exhaling brings a close to this life. Fully aware, I am helpless and in awe. Helplessness and awe. Not mere words, clearly I feel and know them intimately.

This is my truth kept close to me all day in every circumstance. I alone know what difference that time in the company of truth has wrought in this once in a lifetime day. This day fully lived shall never return, has no name, and is eternally mine. That is but an inkling of the difference!

So far I have enjoyed thirty two years worth of days in a row the enjoyment of which I carry in a special basket which I will take with me when I die all by grace that 37 seconds well used is a lifetime. Thank you, Mister Magorium!