A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 08/28/22

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Free People Do Not Compare Or Measure

Here’s where man and woman went wrong simply put. In a human lies the consciousness of all humanity since the beginning. In the beginning there was no center or self perceived to be within a human body just as there is none in any other living thing. Each human developed that theoretical center inside the body over time by the process called thinking…knowledge derived from limited experiences recorded as memory in the brain (which we do now with computers) constructs the concept of a self within us and gives it a name to be called upon to justify itself to other imaginary selves in the rest of the tribe. The self thus invented by thought has to measure itself against another. And as we have thought about this we have constructed a very complex mental vocabulary to make more real to us the “psyche” or the psychological self or the ego. It is not there in reality and never has it been. It is made-up. It results from “I think therefore I am”. It is a mental prop or dummy as a stand-in for a would-be thinker. Thinking happens all right but there is no thinker.

A deep, serious examination of the matter will reveal an entirely different dimension where there is no ego. Furthermore, it will reveal along side that fake concept of me as separate from you is another false concept that the fake self made over time by thought needs its own time to become something better. Do not think this is a theoretical formula for how to live. All life is interrelated as a fact. It is not important at all for you to agree or disagree with this. It’s made to encourage the reader to explore into the self and determine what is so. It is no use for you to believe me or trust me or follow me at all. This matter is all about freedom. Simply look into it if there is a passionate desire to do so. Passion will do the work.

Once I was convinced that anybody with a great talent or capacity was far better off than myself. I suffered about it and wished for a great talent. When I undertook the inward study of life it threw me into a circle of talented people. Once I got acquainted I was shocked at first to learn they were just as unhappy about themselves as I had been. Any outward show of talent is a show of an inward sense of lack. One friend with a gaggle of fans told me, “When they tell me I am great it immediately causes me to think to myself, ‘if you only knew how disgusting I really am you would not ask for my autograph’”. Find out how wonderful it is to be free of all of that.