A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 09/04/17

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Monday, September 4, 2017

The UnGodly Dance of Good with Evil

All is One.

There is no sufferer.

Step by step: (we go)

1. You say you are not satisfied?

2. That matters not.

3. There is nobody here who is satisfied so look again into the question of Who Am I.

I recently found myself to be satisfied believing it was my duty to clean up a pile of shit so huge it seemed to me to be impossible to accomplish short of great, unwanted suffering. It may sound crazy but it was my time to learn what happens when one can see no alternative but to accept utter defeat, alone. Searching ends suddenly. Ceasing the search to find what one does not have reveals a still mind in a body afloat on a lake of deep satisfaction. Presto! A new intelligence arises. Tremendous energy with passion is available. Do not wait for me to tell you what it means.

Ask: Whatever caused me to think that what is difficult for me is bad and wrong?

By that, I mean, what caused me, as artist, to find it necessary to paint over the situation at hand with the color named difficult. It is, after all, the situation that is. I used to wonder whether it is possible for someone like me to refuse to accept the idea that when trouble arises I have to oppose it rather than merely to face it, deal with it, and end it. That is, never to let trouble take root in my mind. That is, to dump all bad memories and toss the color of difficulty away from my palette. That is, never again to open a drawer in the brain labeled memories of bad times, and be done with the practice of good and evil; and, by so doing, to know that God and Devil are one.

Many reading this will recoil at the suggestion of forgetting evil on the belief it is by remembering evil that we keep it at bay. Ha! Look at history. For all such persons evil remains attached to every good idea that will occur, generation after generation, unto the end of time. Consider the scripture: For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, the very thing I dreaded has happened to me, and what I fear most overtakes me. In that scripture it is possible for one to see his own role in every conflict.

I want to suggest here that it is my memory of evil that inevitably causes someone else to feel abuse in an evil manner which he must never forget and so on and on conflict will be passed until people find themselves in a situation exactly like the one we face today on Earth in 2017. All statesmen(women) and politicians speak thusly:

“Because we do not have peace we must go to war even though war can never bring peace.”

Peace is not the opposite of war. War is a fool's search for peace. Peace is the presence of itself in the union of good and evil. It comes to all who want it passionately enough to clean up their own shit without expecting a reward. It comes. It just comes like a promise fulfilled.