A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 03/13/23

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Monday, March 13, 2023

One might say “I need enlightenment”. Another says “I need salvation”. Another says “I need to awaken”. And so on and on. Some will say only, “ I need a peace I cannot name or describe”. Another has said it this way, “I need to find my heart”. All are after the same thing AND IT IS FLATLY “ORDINARY” AS ORDINARY CAN BE.

Our brains, and therefore our minds, are loaded with stuff of past experiences. Memories, ideas, feelings, notions, theories of all kinds are in there. Religious dogma and political hogwash are in there. Imagined attachments are there. What is felt as a need by everyone of us humans is a call from inside to notice there is something besides all that “stuff” present that is not a part of it. It is like if a violinist has 400 violins in his music room and it is so full of them he cannot see he is there also. He is awaiting the violins to play something new to him. They cannot. He cannot move forward. He is like a walking dead man. He must think life is just this way and strive to accept that.

And this is why no one can charge a fee to make things right. There is nothing to it. Things are right. So many offer an extraordinary “experience” for a fee and make a lot of money doing it when it is a “non-experience” we began with and believe we lost. To find what is not lost…what is to be done? Well it really is so that what you are looking for is an enormous elephant in a crowded room right under your nose. It wants no name , has no possessions, and is alive. It is life. Remember? What more can be said?