A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 03/02/23

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Thursday, March 2, 2023

LIFE &

THE TERRIBLE WORLD

The world of persons as far as I can see is a terrible place to try and live. So much violence. So many people hateful and angry. So much cruelty. Enormous greed and disrespect for what is beautiful and tender. Comparison and measurement in all corners. People buying and selling others. Corruption rules on Earth. Beginning with the family of separation.

I cannot change the world. Have not the power to do that. I want to but cannot. I also cannot even keep my family and close friends knowing they are safe. I was early taught I was to do that much if I am to have any dignity as a man. I found it very hard to admit that it is not possible for me to keep such a promise to them because I am not Superman or anything close to it. I tried many ways to escape that fact. But it eventually got to me. I lost my mind.

Then something happened to me. I admitted my weakness and sense of shame and asked for help with my suffering. Some people told me they recognized me as one of them and agreed to show me a way out of the sickness. Said it was unlearning mostly. What I have to say now is that there is a way. I found out my trouble was not really “mine”-really, it is that I am not who I thought I was before. Like in the story of Alice, a caterpillar asked me-

“Who are you?”

I attempted to answer and each answer was shown to be absolutely false. I arrived at a place where I just admitted, “I don’t know who I am.”

When a person is clear he has no identity his mind has to open up to the complete unknown. It loses its entire load of bullshit that was attached to the wrong ideas he had about the most fundamental truth- existence! Believe it or not it is a wonderful place to fall into. Empty mind, that is. Suddenly everything is possible! It became my quest to question it all! Ha!

As I continued on the “questioning everything” journey to meet up with identity more and more gifts came to me I had not even asked to have as if they fell from trees or something. One thing for sure, empty mind has great energy. I tell the following and stop.

Eventually, it came to me as a fact that my problem is the other man’s problem and the problem of all human consciousness and therein lies the source of suffering. We were driving each other mad in a House of Mirrors. Amness is life’s energy in a human body. That energy cannot be destroyed by anything. Nothing can reach it. It is in another dimension entirely. It transcends problems.

My body is mortal and will die and can be hurt but not so for the truth of my identity. And it turned out to be what was left when I had established by serious questioning who I am not! With this knowledge was it realized in gratitude there is safety in a dangerous world. It is in me and cannot be messed with by anything.

This that is revealed here is not the property of any person or any group of persons. “Persons” are the great problem. To walk the safe road is not a choice and will not be found by shoppers. Lovers have it. A lover goes to any length for the beloved because that is what a lover does.