A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 05/26/21

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Mandates and Charts

Do I really want new mandates and new charts for the voyage called life? Or, would I prefer to try it without any such programming? Just be together with everybody else as one of us. Sing my thoughts spontaneously with my own musical accompaniment unless someone comes on the scene to join me. Bob Dylan has been doing this for more than 50 years and nobody has joined him. So, is it too lonely? Or, is loneliness where it’s at and all the lonely people not really…lonely? I am here, not to ease loneliness, oh no, to embolden it. The solution to all my problems lies in me, alone. For the reason that all my problems are tied to me and, so, inter-related. Loneliness is illusion for that reason. Seeing things as they are is freedom. Only free people love.

I see people with their smart phones and I see human beings serving robots. Once we did it with newspapers then radios then televisions. We stand in line to get our daily programming. Do I really want new mandates and new charts for the voyage called life? Or, do I want love?