A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 05/23/22

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Monday, May 23, 2022

ABOUT NOTHING

Nothingness. What is that? Not a thing. What is a thing? A thing is a thought. A thought gives a name to the thing a thought has made. A number of things made in this manner are put together by thought into a set of thoughts and a system is made to be distinguished from other things. After some time a scientist is made by thought to study these systems and measure and compare thoughts which will cause the scientist to take pride in considering these contrived things in systems to be the observable world as it actually is when such is utter nonsense. And all this malarky will have been mostly brought about through pride as a manner of giving the scientist a profession to profess. Scientists, lawyers, doctors of medicine, teachers, preachers and priests, politicians, psychologists, philosophers, soldiers and their officers, artists, athletes, computer scientists, and all the rest have arisen in this manner and the list can go on forever.

So, is nothingness what we most fear and loathe? But is it, after all, what was there before naming? Why do we fear it so? What do you know of nothingness, especially what do you know of how it feels to you? All of us had to have experienced nothingness at the beginning of our lives. Can we now? It is surely a great challenge to find out. Just one thought can blot out nothingness.

It is like nothingness vanishes in the presence of thought. But that cannot be so, can it? That would have to mean the world created by man is more real than that that preceded it. I can understand as a fact that is not so. By that, I can at least meet up with nothingness if only for a moment before thoughts return. Meeting nothingness is the greatest feeling known by me. The question came: why can I not keep that feeling all day? The answer came: it is entirely up to you. Nothingness is always with me now even when things can be taken out in its presence for a useful purpose and then put away. A useful purpose for things is tying my shoes. When nothingness is my consciousness I have no urge to control a thing. Controlling is not. All is friendly.