A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 04/12/22

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Name?

(Shake of head)

You must have a name.

How come?

Well, I see you are here and everyone here has a name.

What does a name matter?

We need to be able to identify you for our records for one thing.

I do not wish to be recorded.

We must have proof you arrived and the date of arrival. How old are you?

Just newly born. Still being born. Will be until I die.

You are going to have to cooperate if you intend to be a part of the social system.

Not interested in belonging to anything, thank you.

See here. I can see for myself you are here and must do my job.

Look, you, I have been trying to tell you that you can see I am here and that is enough for you to know the truth of my arrival and my presence here. In fact, if you insist on asking questions of me and writing reports soon you will be more aware of what is not so than anything true. In that case you will no longer be able to simply know I have arrived and stand before you. You will see only your imaginary image of me and treat me as that. May I go on my way please? I am in a hurry and hope you do not mind. Leave your questions in writing with my parents and if I decide that answering any of them is appropriate I will answer them at that time.