A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 08/18/21

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

TO ANYBODY-

It was like I joined a pack of drunken fortune seekers heading out to the gold fields of California. Hitch your wagon!

Where you goin’? I don’t know.

What you gonna find there?

I ain’t certain.

All I do know is I am on my way.

Any lively slogan to be sung with vigor will do but it boils down always to an ignorant, selfish craving for an unknown result that drives human beings of all kinds. Many labels come and go. But the drive remains within us all our lives. The Great Hunger.

For a few years of my life I was working in the public eye. I said I was doing good for everybody. Truth was, I was seeking treasure for me. My treasure was uncertain but it smelled a lot like power and influence over others who are bound to admire my service to them. I could envision a statue of my likeness standing prominently on a square. My work was scrutinized by the media of the day. It was not unusual for me to be interviewed by the press and television news. As I listened to the news I was told by the interviewer to watch myself on it was every time a complete shock. Nothing about the news report was remotely accurate. Knowing this, I would wonder whether every news story is just as lopsided. Of course, it has to be so. And yet I kept watching news and reading publications regularly which reported the lies it pours into our brains for many more years. It was apparent many educated people do the same and believe themselves to be well-informed. About what? Junk. It amounts to a madness whereby a force these well-informed trusted people of influence do not see is feeding them what it wants them to learn. Like an evil mother with a poison breast might feed a helpless child. Now, do not stop here and form your opinions of who that evil asshole is and analyze the situation in order to organize a gang to oppose them in like manner. Why? Well, it smells like power and influence. Besides, that is what you have been doing for generations and the trouble is growing stronger and stronger as you are sucked into its evil web of destruction it is time to reevaluate.

The fact is the trouble resides in us. Not outside us. (a full paragraph)

The Great Hunger is in fact back of your selfish self-centered desires, all of them, as they change even. Everybody’s got ‘em. Society is driven by greed. It is organized for that very purpose. It is formed to make you feed at the poison breast of an evil it has you hypnotized to believe you are, which you are not, and it wants you to believe you are something that has no real existence at all instead of trusting your true mother’s good, wholesome milk of love. Your society has an evil use for every fool. Its job is to sell its stuff to you which you do not need if only you had a good mother’s teat. In thought are you trapped and you are your society now. To restore dignity you have to change. (Remember where the trouble resides?)

A self-centered observer of the things of the world goes unnoticed by me because I identify my existence with that puppet. It is a form of blindness. Since I am crazy I aim crazy. I do not see straight. My milk is evil. It spoils my days. I must change. I must turn away from the poison breast. The voice that asks “How?” is the monster’s voice. Etch that on your brain. No action is appropriate. Once the false observer is seen, it is all over for it. Kill it daily. Kill it hourly. With a single eye, kill it now. It takes a single eye to see what does not in fact exist. You will know, instantly, without a doubt, who you are.