A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 09/03/16

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Saturday, September 3, 2016

To Understand

If you know you do not know what you are seeking, you will not ever tell yourself you are not following the correct path. And, nobody else can tell you that. Simply go where you have not yet been. You see, it is the damned if I do, damned if I don't bind that has mankind tied in dreadful knots. We don't have to be like that anymore.

Men are so very nice to know who know they do not know.

Men destroy so much when they think they know what they want,

they don't.

Take gold or oil, for instance, or love, what a mess those caused;

but when a man knows, I do not even know what I am seeking anymore

such a true friend you never have ever had before.

It is that simple to become what all living things adore.

If you feel this poem silly. Consider the facts: how can one who is all he is- nothing less or more- know what he's supposed to be wishing for?

The very idea is like wishing not to be your self anymore.

Even those who wish for cancer's cure have no idea what's going to be behind that door.

That means: I do not know how to keep score!

What really is funny is how many of us are striving to get somewhere else who do not know a damn thing yet about where we are. (not to mention who or what)

I am currently living in a house with someone who speaks only Spanish while I speak only English. We two together. Nobody else. I gotta tell ya it is has been fun! As soon as one of us learns the other's language the trouble will begin. As it is we have a perfect understanding...we know we cannot understand each other. I am beginning to believe ol' Tarzan got it right. “Me Tarzan. You Jane.”