A WHOOPER SWAN'S DIARY: 12/02/22

THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Friday, December 2, 2022

CAN I ANALYZE MY WAY OUT OF THESE TROUBLES?

Suppose I am looking at tree. The tree can talk to me and I can talk to the tree in my language. I see this tree is small. I see the tree has several crooked branches. The tree has some brown leaves.

I say, “You ought to be tall and straight and green.”

The tree tells me, “I see I am too short. I see I have many crooked branches. I see my brown leaves. What can I do to change all this? I am the way I am. How can I change?

I say, “Your outside appearance is a reflection of how you think inside, psychologically.”

The tree asks, “How can I change how I am, psychologically?’

I say, “First, look inside and find out how it is, as a fact, you think.”

The tree replies, “I do not think. I don’t even know what that is!”

“How can you talk if you do not think?” I ask the tree.

“Well, I talk because you want me to.” Answers the tree.

“Oh, my. What if you are the way you are as a reflection of how I think, psychologically”. I am beginning to see something I never have seen…I think I am a thinker…an observer of my own life…so you see me that way…I cannot change how I think…because I am what I think…so…you cannot change…until…until…I admit as a fact I think things I do not want to think…and my thinking is very muddled with confusion and the muddle controls how I live…and

the tree instantly grows tall, straight, and very green.