THE WORK OF ANY ORDINARY HUMAN BEING 

I am an ordinary human being. Yet have I wondered for as long as I can remember about what happened here on Earth before I was born to bring about the world I was born in. In it, I was expected to join and attempt to make a life organized along lines that seem to me then and now bizarre and way too unnecessarily limited to be attractive to a living, vibrant, creative creature like me. Know what I mean? 

What brought this world as it is presented to newcomers into being? Is it just bullshit? Even its leaders are made to be so by getting others to follow them instead of going for the depths of what the life they have can offer a human. It suddenly became important to me to question the need for any job or career description whatsoever. And it brought me to ask about each did I come to be born in order to grow up to be an applicant for this position described to me by some describer of career descriptions? Is that way of functioning itself a “bullshit job”, to describe possible career openings to people, that is, or is it rather a nuisance? Or, worse still, is it an evil of inestimable damage to each child born? If so, that’s a rotten thing to do to anybody much less an innocent babe. Gosh. Could this be the simple, clear essence of the story of Jesus born in a manger on Christmas to question it all and be killed early for doing so? But miraculously cheating such a death…? Can it be

There is a body of thought that says the human brain became free to go its own way only around 3,000 years ago with the breakdown of the bicameral mind. See Julian Jaynes, Phd. The Origin of Consciousness In The Break-Down of the Bicameral Mind.  In truth, it just may have been the effect of conditioned thinking, actually, and a terrible loss of freedom. It left all of us madly searching for someway to go beyond consciousness. To escape the mind’s prison, that is. It surely was the dawn of the age of making a living by confused thinking and suffering at a very low level of the ordinary human capacity. Should mankind think and think and think for ten thousand more years in this way there will be still no clarity at all. Confused  yearning is all. At some point we will either question everything we have concocted this way or die of confusion.

After many years as an adult who explored different options for making a living In the typical work of humans trapped mentally inside the limits of some culture that tells newcomers “we understand you are afraid of a lot that is expected of you but we are all as afraid as you we just have made up our minds to drive forward in fear”. I was left with this question: “why do you expect me to go where I fear going carrying my fear with me?” Do you (they) presume my fear is contrary to my own welfare?  I mean, can I not fear to waste my life needlessly on someone’s program handed to me when I want to do what I am drawn to do from within me? If I am called on to kill another person to whom I feel drawn to love as [another just like me] are you so deadly certain I ought to kill not love? And, furthermore, do you expect me to buy into the culture’s propaganda without some real evidence, outside mere rhetoric or a mere unsupported assumption that there has ever been anyone who has
charged forward in the face of fear? It seems more plausible that nearly everybody in some manner finds shelter from fear before encouraging others to charge forward. John Wayne, they say, consumed at least a fifth of whiskey a day. Any who willingly follow another are already corrupted by cowards is more likely the truth. It takes a lot of courage to stand totally alone and we are as a matter of fact totally alone.

Here is what I see: two or more humans each of whom stand alone are truly as one. While those who agree mentally to join together in a cause are in immediate conflict. Seeing this is paramount. 

It has been told me that warrior societies have existed on Earth tens of thousands of years before recorded history wherein warriors listened to the chiefs speak and only followed them if they were certain they wanted to do so. (Kondiaronk, Huron chief 1701) These warriors were free to walk away. Can such a thing be possible? Why not?

A word about exploitation. It covers the whole scene of finding a defined career for a baby to fit into some day as a method to earn money and no more than that. So, in the world of defined careers, money does not only talk it swears! (Bob Dylan) The most common question begins “What do you want to do when you grow up?”  To exploit another is to make use of another in order to benefit (financially or otherwise). A more honest question would be “How do you prefer to be exploited by others when you grow up?” The fear which allows us to continue ad infinitum in this way is groundless.  Absolutely groundless. It always was groundless. It is, pure and simple, a movement in complete ignorance of what is happening inside a group when all people in it are busy doing what they already love to do now and all the rest of their lives? When fear is removed truth is found.

Let me tell a simple story about my life which brings me to write this for you. At around age 39 I was about to give up on life. I uttered a prayer inside me to nameless nobody just before killing myself. I prayed in this way, “If you are there pease help me. Send me a mentor, someone who understands me.”

A man named Buddy immediately appeared. In short, he listened to me awhile and invited me to a meeting he was going to attend that day. At the meeting I met several people like me. I came back. I made a commitment solely to me in private to make a fearless and thorough inventory of what composes my being. I found fear, anger, and resentment everywhere dominated my story up to that point. As a light of truth shown on these difficulties each disappeared from me and I knew a peace beyond all understanding residing in their place there at the heart of me. I humbly gave up all else in favor of that new peace. And, knowing it as who I am stepped onto an unknown path with a courage to be exactly as I am already. No more of becoming in the form of wishes and hopes for this fellow.

In a few short years I was asked by my daughter if she could come live with me. Her mother and I had divorced when she was a baby. Shannon was by then 14 and I was overwhelmed and thrilled at her wanting to be with me. I told a close friend my grand news and he said, “You will need a job.” By this time, I had been living unemployed following my decision to live each day as an unknown gift and had grown accordingly at a deep level a joy and passion for life I had never before known. My friend added, “We have several openings. Go down the hall to our personnel office and look through the catalog of jobs to be filled and apply for one you find interesting.” What followed may be difficult to swallow at first it is so heavenly by nature. Simply following my friend’s direction which my heart felt to be coming from love, I selected a position and applied. Soon I was on the list of employees there. I had no car so every morning after a good breakfast Shannon and I walked to a bus stop together where she caught a bus to school and I caught one to my place of employment. This small effort as a team was precious to both of us. My own joy was without limit.

Amazingly, for several weeks I reported each morning and went to my supervisor to ask what he wanted me to do that day. He would reply, “Please give me a little time to figure out what you are to do and I will let you know. It will not be too long.” Finally, one day, he told me, “Just make up your own job and keep me informed so I can answer any inquiries from others.” Well, you can imagine my shock and my excitement!

I immediately began research deeply into how I might be truly useful among these people doing work I truly enjoy doing already as opposed to striving to become something I am not. Before Shannon asked to join me I had spent time helping people who were in misery as I had been to explore into a way of life of an unknown variety. I charged no money for my work. And, now, only I knew that I had created a job for me, just me, nobody else, like I had some magic wand. When an ordinary person is capable of that…all dreams of becoming somebody someday, well, they vanish into thin air

as totally useless. In my heart I was to be the one in that workplace to passionately encourage all the rest to catch fire with a passion to do work they already love knowing they will do it to the level of excellence. 

I found a model rather quickly in my research. Named Dr. W. Edwards Deming. The man proclaimed that all people (everyone) want to work with pride and joy! I discovered Deming had been appointed by U.S. authorities to oversee the recovery of Japan after WWII which nation we had bombed with atomic weapons. His results were shockingly phenomenal. This was late eighties when Japan was thriving worldwide and it was feared they would soon catch us and surpass us economically using Dr. Deming’s encouragement. The program had rather quickly transformed the reputation of Japanese products from “junk” to “excellence”. Deming’s very successful program was right in line with the spiritual lessons I had learned as a result of undertaking that searching and fearless inventory I told you about, you see. It would remove the fear and anger and resentment in this workforce as well and that change would move its work to a level previously unknown and beyond! Together, not as their leader, we made the journey. And it worked. Thirty years later with a clear mind I write this to you.

It is anticipated that you, the reader, will say “I have no idea how I might find what I really love to do.” Am I right? That is just something really sorry for a person to tell itself. Can you believe a man or woman not knowing what they love? It may be a stretch to accept that if I do what I love I will receive what I need. It might be but it is far less a stretch than the one you have been following so far that is “I know what I need.” Nobody knows that. Will you settle for “I did what I love doing as long as I lived?” That beats Hell outta “I never did anything I really wanted to do” and most are singing that song the day they run out of breath. 

Let me add one more story. When I was myself initially looking for what I might love doing a woman suggested to me I imagine myself at a party where to my great surprise I found myself having a really good time. Imagine the party in detail, she demanded. But play with it. Now, said she, write down in explicit detail everything you can remember about the people you met at the party whose company you so much enjoyed. I did that exercise because I trusted that woman to be a true friend. I described the people at the party as creative, artistic types. Poets, painters, musicians, actors, dancers. I made no mention of any type I had previously worked around. Following the exercise I began to put together a plan for a new line of work. I did all my preparations only to find I attracted no clients. All I had been contacted by were poets, musicians, painters, actors, and the like asking to meet me. It eventually occurred to me I did not love my planned for career I loved hanging out with creative people. So, I began to contact creative ones and just ask for a meeting to hang out. I came to each meeting with no expectation of any kind. Each one mentioned another one or more I should contact. Or, they mentioned a gathering I should attend just because I would likely find there people I would enjoy who would enjoy me. Out of it has blossomed a life I enjoy to this day. It is unlike any described by the thinking mind. It fits me as if a magic tailor had anticipated my birth and sewn a suit that when I put it on is obviously me at my best.

Now, it is important to note something that too often robs another of a single person’s discovery of the value of knowing oneself and going through life as I am. I know a woman, an actor, who has written plays and acted in them that describe her life as a misfit in the society of her birth who had to fight her way out of it to find herself. Her plays are a marvel and inspire others but in her old age that woman told that she did not want that to happen to her children so raised them to fit into the society she had escaped. Her thinking was that it is better that my offspring avoid the pain I endured by adjusting themselves mentally to fitting in among fools. It is just too damned hard to stand alone on your own two feet, she thought. It is no advantage, however, to adjust oneself to life in a corrupt society. It is so obvious that a phony life, by definition, is no life at all. This grave mistake is, unfortunately, all too common. That lady must have unconsciously been carrying the heavy rock of imagined failure throughout her lifetime. It is so obvious that a phony life, by definition, is no life at all. Sad indeed.

Yet this brings me to a good place to be. People will probably agree with the statement “We are all looking for a new world”. However, after they agree they begin to search for the new world they want inside the world they know already. I tell it that the new world we all are looking to find is the real one. And, so, for that reason, looking in the one you know, digging amongst all the definitions and phony equations, must always expose more of the same world. It costs you your life to do it this way but you continue to do it! The known world is phony!

Can it be possible for an ordinary human being to live in a world unknown? To always remain in “I don’t know”? Look into it a little deeper and see that, in fact,  you and I and everybody else can only live that way. We are all of us either busy being born or busy dying. (Bob Dylan)

All of us believe we are victims of a sinister plot and the wicked choice is between a life of confusion, doubt, and blame or no life at all. In truth, the choice for any ordinary human always has been between a confused life or a real one which is clear and simple and beautiful and outrageously exciting just to be part of.

Just say the line between you and me is not there.