My parents seemed always to worry about money.
It was mentioned often in the walls of our home.
“We cannot afford it” began every conversation about spending the dollar.
We cannot, not, not, not
We cannot.
A limited point of view.
Whether we eventually spent it and enjoyed ourselves or not they had to have the conversation it seemed to me. Whether it was a meal out, a new shirt, a vacation, a bigger house, a new car, an acre of dirt
we had the conversation.
It really got me when my Dad, the one most convinced that we were poor, would actually bring up the question of whether we might splurge to have fun knowing all along
he would take the most extreme position finally and eventually assure us we were not going to spend one dime, but first,
he would torment us by beginning a “whole family’s desire” for something new.
I recall that every vacation went through several decisions not to go before we finally threw things in suitcases and hauled ass or we stayed home as undeserving, miserable people.
Just traveling, with nowhere to go, has given me to know what luxury really is-
I know not where my next meal is coming from. Experts define me as among the poorest of the poor to be pitied. And yet I have a quiet mind. A quiet mind does not attract attention and cares not to impress anybody. It is that simple. Never does a conversation in my head occur before I act. Such action is uncorrupted by words. And I act from an intelligence that will suffer no nonsense. Trouble-free, this life has magic all over it, and I feel like the wealthiest human on Earth each and every day.
What is clear is it was never the “thing” our family lacked it was simply to be surprised with some new way to see what there is to see. Life, and life alone, absolutely overflows with an unlimited supply of that at all times and there is more than enough for everybody and the supply is protected in such a manner that nobody can deprive another of it. Clear thinkers are not concerned with greed and those others whose thinking is unclear see not the actual wealth though it abounds perceive not the existence even of a human being with a quiet mind.
Sincerely, Johnny Smith
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