THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Sunday, December 25, 2016


Standin' Around
I was standin' around when someone asked me what I do. Me? I do not give talks to groups of people is all. And, I do that by invitation only, says I. For some reason they sent me an invitation. So, here I am.
To me, it looks like we are all standing in a huge circle on the lip of a gigantic abyss of darkness and we never even mention that abyss exists. But we know. And it is awkward to say the least to stand like this at the edge of solid earth before a gaping abyss of total darkness hoping of course not to fall into its scary mouth but not mentioning it to anyone, not even ourselves, that it is here. Right here where we stand.
But, I, naturally, being myself, am not going to discuss it with you since I do not make talks to groups and I do that by invitation only. However, upon actual receipt of the invitation, it came to my attention that to refuse the invitation would amount to an agreement to appear and make a talk to a group of people which I do not do and do that by invitation only. You know...to refuse an invitation not to make a talk can be an interpreted as an acceptance of an invitation to make one...This was a problem. I lost my balance became weak and staggered, mewling, and puking my guts out.
It was at that moment I became fully aware again of that dark abyss we are all standing in a circle around for it appeared before me so dramatically and frightened me so I fell into it...and, do you know what? That abyss is .........
that abyss is.....
believe it or not that abyss is....

Love.
Good night. Thank you for listening to my explanation and I hope it straightens out the matter of my appearance here. That is all. Good night again. 

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