The Little Story With A Big Heart {}

I want to tell you a little story you are a part of. Around July 5 my son, Ran, wrote to me asking me to come to Costa Rica, saying, I need you. I dropped everything and began to make arrangements to come. On July 10 I arrived.

Shortly after, a woman named Linda knocked on the door where I was typing away on the keyboard of this computer thoroughly engrossed in what I was writing in great focused joy. She said she was told by another woman that I was visiting my son here. Her friend, Mary, suggested she come meet me and offer to sublet her house while she was going to be away until November. She saw I had deluxe accommodations and probably would not want to move but offered to show me the place anyway. I went with her. It is only a quarter mile or so up a dirt road from Ran's place. Man, it has this really great view and the cabin is such a marvel of construction, so fine. Linda's place is Linda! I loved it immediately but told her I'd have to speak with my son and daughter to makes sure my renting her place would not conflict with their plans or needs. But, told her that in my heart I'd already sublet her beautiful home. She smiled.

Well, you know what? A puma came to visit me there one evening. The big cats are very rarely seen though people know them to be around. Very secretive. They are protected by law here. I was honored and shaken by the experience. It has been working on me since and teaches me every day. About life, living, really living.

In the course of exchanging emails with Linda she revealed that she had been wanting really badly to see a puma since she has been here and wanted every detail of the experience I was able to give. Then she told me she had been working with a Shaman in Peru for a long time who taught her about the puma. Told her the puma is her spirit animal. I connected this information to my knowledge that Ran is going to Peru in September to hike the trail to Machu Picchu as a quest for inner peace and understanding. He was badly shaken by the death of a young boy, at his house on July 5 who fell from a cliff onto boulders below and died. He blamed himself. More, though, he was reminded of himself as a wild, young boy and felt a deep loss. That was the reason he had asked me to come.

I had a feeling that this Shaman in Peru had something to teach my son so I told Ran about Linda's revelation to me in the wake of the highly unusual visit by a puma to my back door. Ran seemed to ignore my attempt to arouse in him some wonder or curiosity at least. I sadly let it drop. It was about this time I made the decision to extend my stay here because all that was happening was too good to deny. You were somehow counted among those willing to move all my stuff out of the cabin back in Austin to make that possible for me. I know, but it's so anyway. Believe me and accept my gratitude.

Meanwhile, Ran and his family traveled to Philadelphia to take his daughter, my granddaughter, to school. Ryan is 15 and going a long way from home for the first time. They returned home yesterday and this morning we were visiting and Ran said, “Oh, by the way, you know, I told you I had reached out to Linda about a Shaman…

I immediately broke in, “No, I didn't know that!”

Ran: I thought I told you, well, she sent me contacts in Peru which I emailed and told them everything, about Kyle's death, everything, and learned that the Shaman is out of the country at this time. I was disappointed, of course, and thinking of that sadly when I got an email from one of them yesterday while sittiing on the airplane returning from Philadelphia saying the Shaman will be back in Peru at Cusco on September 19, and she wanted to know my travel plans to determine whether she can setup a meeting for me with him. Can you believe it? It's the very day I arrive! I am so excited.

I then told Ran what I wanted to say throughout our talks here but the timing had never felt right for it. Here's what I told him,

Man, in my experience, which is all I have to share with anyone, it was not until I found a living human being that I trusted without reservation to be my teacher that I was able to fully surrender my life, to sincerely ask that man to be my teacher, that my life became real to me. Until then, I had always held back something and to do that prevents absolute surrender which means I was still running my show, just gathering teachers to take pieces I was ready to let go. Which means, of course, the one who needed to change was going to make the change and that is totally not going to happen. Now, I want to say: pay attention, close attention, and when you hear a person say: I cannot teach you what you already know, I can only point you to the knowledge in your heart because you have already what you seek there- grab on to that person and let go absolutely and beg him or her to be your teacher withholding nothing. A teacher is a mirror. What happens you may not recognize for a long time but someday you will-your heart chooses the teacher and by letting it you turn the reins of your life over finally to the one friend inside who knows the secret you so badly need. That is the best I can do for you, my child.

That is the end of the little story

My teacher laughs a lot.