THE STORY OF JOHNNY WHOOPER SWAN We go to school trusting our parents. We meet a teacher there who stands up front with a big desk, and a pointer. She or he trains us in an authoritative manner. We attach mentally to a life long need for authority in order to live lives successfully. Right so far? In my case, at the age of 25 I was ready to enter the practice of law where I hoped for success and a happy life finally. Very shortly, very shortly, I became anxious. There was a foreboding. I was made more uncomfortable with each experience. Law work is nothing like what I was told it would be. The system is corrupt. But I still cling to my expectation that career success is necessary to my happiness as a man. Each day my grasp of what the fuck success amounts to after all becomes more clouded, murkier. I hear songs on the airwaves and at concerts which describe my life as the life of a fool. What am I becoming? I want to rip off my business suit to run naked in the street with my hair on fire! But I am too afraid. In strange, weird (weird comes from a word meaning wise), fragmented steps I go about a journey of my own believing myself to be the first man to have failed in such a total way which journey works so as to break up my career, end a marriage, and start an entirely new way of relating with my two children whom I love deeply. Almost magically I meet a woman who is a career counselor who asserts a beautiful message that I am made to be joyful in my work everyday and at all levels. This understanding sets me on a completely new course. It is no longer a world of systems to me but an undivided one of unlimited beauty. It reminds me of a painting. A true masterpiece. I am drawn from within to learn the truth about my identity and nobody else can teach me that. From this point onward I will use thinking capacity for mastering mechanical processes and follow my heart, which includes my whole nature, which includes your whole nature and that of every human being for all the rest. I’ll go by the name Johnny Whooper Swan who does not explain itself to anyone. By my fruits shall I be known. Watch me soar!

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Certainty, My Love?


Tell me I can count on having your love until death parts us. I cannot bear the thought of you giving your love to another. The uncertainty of this arrangement is killing me. I must know I have you.

Are you not content to have love for one night, this one night? Whatever gives you the concept of having me?

You are my dream come true. I want no other. Forever.

What makes you believe such a thing? Why must you think?

My parents married in a church before God and people and live together as man and wife to this day.

Do you really think I am the source of love, a fountain of it? Stop thinking. Can I determine where love chooses to go? Did I begin this feeling in you? Or me? It happened. How do things happen? You are lying. I do not believe you. You ask me for such a promise when we both know you, yourself cannot know who or when you will leave me for someone else? Nonsense.

Love is nonsense. Did you not know? It is meant to be crazy. It is crazy.

Then let us accept that as true. We must go mad to be in love. A crazy person is never held to promises. There is one love. It consumes promises and out beyond promises there is an open field. I met you there. Life in that field is far better than any other life. You have to trust me.

How can I?


If you cannot, have no truck with me.  
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