Nothing, and I mean it, nothing will ever be as good as this moment

you are rich if you own it

To remember: my definition of a disaster is any moment I lose consciousness of the love that is in my heart that cannot be taken from me by any circumstance in the world. To be unconscious of that means disaster is already on its way. I can count on it!

LOVEMAKING

What I never liked about lovemaking is

that I am expected to get up from the bed

and go

back into a world where no love can be found

and pretend it's a tough life

I never wanted to do that.

An old story

has been told around the earth since the time of Adam and Eve. It goes: There is a white wolf and a black wolf inside of each human being. They are at war. Whichever one I feed is going to win.

If one is going to speak of God, the first thing to be decided is: which God? The God you made up in your mind or the God that created you?

If one is going to answer the quest for who am I? The first question to be decided is: which you? The one you created in your thinking or the one created by God?

After a tragedy the question asked by loved ones of the victims is Why does God permit such awful things to happen? The real question is why did God permit us to go outside and play?

I prefer to tell that it is like there is a two headed wolf and a single headed wolf inside us, whichever we feed is going to be stronger.

War is the consequence of following the instruction from a two headed God. Like a coin. On practically the first page of the Bible it is told that all our troubles right up to today are the consequences of folly. That folly is deciding what is right and what is wrong in a perfect world. What can the True God do? I find it to be so simple to return to the Garden anytime I stray. Give up to love's exact moment as it is.

These are only words. I write this for myself. I write to learn. I write to discover. I write to show that it is all up to me for I am the blessed child of perfection. It began with a simple stabbing statement from a once homeless old woman who had found a graceful way to live. She told me, “God don't make no junk.”

For my part, I want to know for myself. Am I enough? If I am, what have I been waiting for?

Jon Harvey Smith

In the world of justification 

anything is justifiable. 

All the answers to life's mysteries are blowing in 

the wind

A work of art is a shadow cast by that wind

Man's Search For Subterranean Joy

You tell yourself, I am not the spiritual person I want to be and I want to become that in the future. It is concepts of effort and achievement I oppose. I want you to recognize that achievement of a subterranean joy is contrary to its plain meaning. It is there or it is not. It is waiting for you to notice it or it is not. If such a thing is indeed inside of you it is not far away. If you are handed a gift wrapped in colored paper with a bow on it do you have to go to a special school to learn how you can possibly find what that gift happens to be?

Personally, I do not trust a story about a perfect God who makes people who arrive in need of a book and a teacher with credentials and membership in a group who build temples of bricks or stone. It makes more sense to me to figure the teachers, the books, and the temples have driven innocent children mad enough to require institutionalization in places where they can be dressed, fed, and watched.

If you must strive to overcome something it will be better for you to pay attention to what you want to stop doing. Try to make the changes you truly want in your life. Sing the blues when you fail. Someone might hear your song, listen, and ask you a simple question.

When you have a thing and do not know you have it, stop searching, you will find. I mean, of course, really stop searching. Giving up any projection of a future time when you will have it, be here now. What you will want to do then may surprise you.

A Good Use Of Time

I want to talk about something that there are no words to speak of it. I want to share my experience about a truth no words can possibly reach. I want to talk about that which ends all debate before it is too late...the doors to Heaven shall never close though everything else surely closes and remains in stillness for eons that is not the problem the problem is that people reject anything they cannot see themselves managing in some way   no it is not that     it is not the people who reject it is the impostor within the minds of people who rejects and language built it and keeps it locked up in dictionaries nobody agrees upon as the Right Dictionary.

There is no truth in dictionaries. There is no truth in science books. All books by their nature deny truth. You know this and you read without the protection of that knowledge and that is a setup for misery. There is no truth save the one you feel.

I aim to draw a distinction with words which shows their deadly purpose to ruin your life if you are not careful. The key is to be like a man who trains wild cats and who never forgets even for a second  the necessity of maintaining the control inside the arena. One cat who senses you have forgotten that can spoil your act in a flash of claw and teeth. Words are like that cat. Follow along.

I have a connection to some source that is felt in every breath I am given. Without that all my issues cease to matter. My children will no longer speak to me and my grandchildren will not care to be around me. I will be forgotten. All I own will no longer be mine. Nobody will ask my opinion. It will not even matter to me that some kind individual sets a place for me at the table in his house if I cannot be there. The hope that after my demise someone will pick up a scrap I leave behind and cherish it a moment is nothing to me if I am unaware. Knowing this forces me to a deeper awareness of the importance of the here and now...to me. Which reminds me of the grandest gift, the gift of all gifts, this breath is given without strings. Imagine such a giver! I pay it absolutely no attention for many, many years and still it is given without missing a beat. 

My everything felt.

I am encouraged by this to spend some of my life in the sole company of the source I mentioned I know by my breath. Closing the eyes in my head draws my attention in a stronger way to that inhaling that must lead to the next exhale until the last exhaling brings a close to this life. Fully aware, I am helpless and in awe. Helplessness and awe.  Not mere words, clearly I feel and know them intimately.

This is my truth kept close to me all day in every circumstance. I alone know what difference that time in the company of truth has wrought in this once in a lifetime day. This day fully lived shall never return, has no name, and is eternally mine. That is but an inkling of the difference!

So far I have enjoyed thirty two years worth of days in a row the enjoyment of which I carry in a special basket which I will take with me when I die all by grace that 37 seconds well used is a lifetime. Thank you, Mister Magorium!

What Could Be More Obvious?

What could be more obvious than that no person belongs to a nation nor any other imaginary gaggle of folks made up of himself and others but that any nation or gaggle is a concept only and therefor useful only to describe what has been left behind. I am trying to say a living thing can never be comfortable serving what has no life, a mere concept. I attended a high school in America where I was told the first day, “You are a Monterey Plainsman”. Why? Because you live with your parents on 26^th Street, that's why.

It is most important to one's sanity to understand that a group concept, a memory, always in the past, is dead. An anthropologist finds an old pot among a pile of rubbish and declares, “the people who lived here long ago ate from pots made like this one. Let us call them Oblong Pot People”. Someone might find that interesting, I am not sure, but not so interesting as to decide he serves a society himself this moment. Society is never about here and now. Natural, living things always exists in the present, forever moving, exploring, changing, learning and evolving. Your reason for doing something today ought never be based on, “because we did it that way yesterday”. We are current. That means something. Never let it be said you are a creature of habit. That phrase describes a zombie.

And every rule is made by someone who is afraid. People who are afraid will fuck up every time. They have no faith. They do not trust anybody, least of all do they trust in themselves. So, do you want to bet your life on anyone who at the moment has no faith in themselves even? I should say not!

Money means this: There is not going to be enough so let's gamble in a game deigned to find out who gets to survive. To make it sellable, let's call the game the real world. The most interesting part of this situation is to realize those who are appointed as bosses in the so-called real world (that is in fact a game) in all ways cheat. There is no cure for it. Conceited people cheat.

A wise person gives freely what he most needs. Yet is always satisfied. A fool who hoards will always be afraid. You already know what people who are afraid always do. The wise are not opposed to playing games and having fun but are good sports and remember always they are at play when they are at play. For example, wise people have been known to fly kites for fun when told there is not going to be enough but they never, never will be caught gambling your life for their own safety. No! The wise will find a way. That is what it means to be wise. You have it but do not know where you put it.

Okay. Having had truth revealed you can continue serving a conceptualized society which is fear driven, dead, lost in the past, rigged in someone else's favor and phony. It is up to you.

You are human. A tiny child who has been alive but a short while, has little or no language, has never been to school, owns nothing, is listened to by no one, that one is fearless in the face of his inner urge to stand and to walk forward. Where did that courage go?

Do you dare to consider whether a child, left to his own devices, will know what is good for him or her, moment to moment, for the rest of a lifetime? Will you at least admit you do not know?

I have a grandson who recently told his mom, after being lectured to brush his teeth, these are my teeth and I can take care of them! My daughter asked Matias, Are you telling me that if I leave you alone you will brush your teeth? The answer swift and sure: Yes!

Be honest. Can you truly say you disagree with that little boy? Look deeper if you do. That child is wiser than you.

I am certain those youngsters are the teachers. You are not and so will continually meddle in their lives and cause serious harm and as you do so betray day after day your own shriveled up human heart and blame somebody else for the troubles you cause. And learn nothing.

Oh, I hear you saying, that small child needs our help he is too young to know of the many dangers, etc. etc. etc. Look deeper.  See.  Look at those big eyes staring into your heart.  Do you not feel?  Is it not certain that young boy is drawing unto himself who and what he needs from within his presence as such a bright, beautiful, small being? There is such a big difference when one sees what is actually happening, not what I think is happening. All our troubles stem from conceit. To think, I am big and smart and strong and I am here to save that boy is vastly different from that beautiful child is here to save me by showing me my own heart and my urge to serve something good and pure.

Nothing 8

Have you ever known someone who has only one thing to do? And all else...all of it... are but the happenings on the way to do that one thing? I am describing you.

There was a time when you learned to stand on two feet then walk because you had decided to do it. Nobody taught you how that was to be accomplished. Had they tried you would not have been able to understand what they were saying. When you fell down, you got back up. And picked something up you found down there since you were down there anyway and brought it back with you when you stood up laughing. And you learned to walk. Follow a clear, single urge inside. I am urging you and me to get in touch with something you will always have with you that is yours alone, all you. Outside forces are trying to organize your day. Be strong in the face of tyranny that conceals a motive that amounts to what it wants is for the overall good and you must do as your are told and not do what is in your heart unless you are permitted to do so on the exact terms of such permission when granted by outside authority. Closely watch children being ordered about by parents. It is obvious when the child has had too much of it. That one, though smaller, will suddenly and purposefully rebel. Often what they are doing in that moment of rebellion seems ridiculous. Easy it is to label as childish behavior. Since it should be apparent to the child what is expected which usually seems quite appropriate to adults, it 
should be done! But what is actually happening inside that little person? You know because you were once a child. Do you have to be reminded?

Your only job is to watch over the children. My only hint to you of how that is done is to point to the Creator who made you and suggest you follow that example. It makes its Sun to shine on the good and the bad. Do you know that a school could be operated in that way if we decided it was to be done with the same determination with which we learned to walk standing up? We could live happily.

I bet we will not do it, though. Why not? Nobody can teach how that is to be done and we are not in touch with that single urge we came here with at birth. By now, it means less to us than a grain of sand. Less even than gratitude.




Slavery was abolished in the USA December 6, 

1865. And the country has been going downhill 

ever since. That is so either because slavery is a 

good thing or because it was not really 

abolished. Which? 

That is a good question.

The Poor Slave

Through a desire for sex can I tie myself up in a pen with the companionship of a horny goat. What bargain is that? Later, I will be heard to cry for someone else to save me and wind up in another pen tied to another horny goat. This can continue for a lifetime. From time to time I ask myself, Is this the life I expected? A person like me can even claim he has been sexually liberated and will look down on those not similarly situated and forgive the poor horny goats but somehow, secretly, feel cheated. He will definitely not know himself to be a horny goat until, being sick and tired of seeking pleasure as a satisfaction for desire, he sees himself trapped in a never-ending slavery of his own making in service to an overseer well hidden and the horny goats are seen to be his own brothers and sisters. In such realization will come fulfillment. And fulfillment, born of humility, itself opens the way to more of it. Desire is memory and memory, being yesterday, is false. Today, which is sufficient unto itself, is the time of reality. I tell you I do not need to remember yesterday in order to be fully equipped for today's tasks. Having lived already yesterday were I but awake for it, it has filled me with all its wisdom.

What We Know Already

Nothing is demanded of us.

Call that love.

Anything short of what love demands is doomed.

Ask anybody on Earth if you do not believe me.

Can you accept that love?

That wants only for you that you be you?

That the music of your heart be played?

Love demands only that we show

no allegiances to anything else.

Do not ask, what is meant by love?

All that shows is how wounded is the pride

of belonging to mistrusted humanness.

Mistrusted humanness.

How sad is that?

Love cannot mean anything else.

Most know pride only as pride in

believing I am not just a human.

That followed being taught the lie

something is demanded of you.

As love, you cannot be anything else but

what you are.

Tap the artesian well of love within.

Love goes its own way.

We join the way of that explosion

or we do not

in the simple way of not joining

anything else.

Love cannot be anything else.

Settle in.

Already I have reminded you

that all humans alive know this to be so.

There is no need to teach it.

All that is required, if anything is required,

is to honor that in everybody you meet.

One man said, I believe Joe is a

nut. The other replied, yes,

he is just as nutty as we are

only in a different way.

The above conversation illustrates the point that everybody wants the

same thing and we have been acting as if that is not so too long not to stop now. Trust in you for a change. That which yields to truth surpasses

that which resists it in every moment. It is as if two wolves reside in

each person, an ignorant wolf and a wise wolf.

The one you feed is going to win.

I want to avoid being so wordy I feed ignorance.

I looked up

at the blue sky and its clouds spread across it and saw written there for me, I am Alive! I am here! It 

is now! I closed my eyes and sheltered in such love and when I opened them the sky had grown 

blank, pure whiteness. A moment had come and I had seen.  

How can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny in their own freedom and a shame in their own pride?
K Gibran 

NOTHING 7

Let me tell what I have been shown. Let me tell it well. Many have told of an experience in times of great difficulty or at moments of triumph and glory when they were suddenly released from the limits of body and rose away from it to a point above or beyond it from which they could observe their body and all the other bodies around it and see easily the way it is and the way for them to go. This made what is ordinarily thought of as miraculous into an ordinary task. They like to remember these times and to tell about them and rejoice at the experience. That happens. Yet, it does not see far. For that reason the same difficulty is going to happen all over again. Most people I meet think this is the way life is, it hands us troubles, sometimes huge ones. Look deeper and see we make those difficulties ourselves because we are blind. All hero stories end at a point where a new hero story begins.

A mosquito was bothering an old man. He lifted his right arm and waved away the insect and blew wind from his mouth to say “Go, Mosquito Brother, do not bother me. I am here as a friend to all.” That is what is meant by seeing far.

I tell of the mosquito because it is the small things get to people most and cause the most trouble to us. Engineers are put to work because somebody decided a river was in the wrong place so was not going the right way and needed to be corrected. It amounts to, “I need the water to complete my little plan.” Always, it is a little selfish plan behind these big projects and the others, the crowd, or the mob, we just go along for the ride being told this plan is for the overall good. Wars that kill millions begin this way. By the time the historians tell of it, the people of an entire generation have completely endorsed the little plan as their own and hold it to be sacred.

To know how to address the mosquito is to know how to prevent wars. One who has the know how to prevent war is bound to live at peace. And, the general who prevents war goes unnoticed by historians, naturally, because the historian is ignorant of what a large thing is inside a human being that acts in the presence of humility. And a historian would close his shop if he knew of it.

To conquer whole nations and enslave a million people and corral 10,000 thoroughbred stallions and capture 1,000 wives is puny compared with the know how of the old man who addressed the tiny mosquito in the correct way. I want you to understand this because I love you. You are deceived. King Arthur was a fool. So, were all the other studs you read about as heroes of your culture's historical record. Did you finish it, by the way? Arthur landed in the soup. Merlin tried to warn him I am told. But, would he listen? No. Too busy with his little plan, his castle, his queen, and his round table of a few brave knights. Had he only known what the old man knows who has overcome the irritation of a single mosquito with neither sword nor bomb.

The stories worth telling are not very popular these days. Did you read the one about the Green Knight? There's a tale worth the pondering. Another one is about a fella who decided to spend his whole life making a perfect walking stick. It took about 150 years to find the right tree to obtain the proper wood for a perfect stick. Lost in his work, he lived happily for eons and eons and more eons. 

Nothing 6

I watched recently a film depicting the rich mythology of the American Indians. White man (what is intended by the term is those people of lighter skin who imagine ourselves to be separate and different from people of darker skin color) teaches the world that he is a member of a culture that represents a departure from primitive ways into a modern world of interesting opportunities for advancement.

As I see it, when people grow bored and anxious, they fall prey to any force that promises relief. What culture offers, as it is practiced, is a multitude of distractions. What red culture offered is a difficult quest by each individual to discover inner power of the person with the promise of fulfillment as a human being through self realized abundance of a different kind altogether. Once the lighter skins also taught this other way to their children and grandchildren. No longer. The way to be a true human being rather than an entertainment freak is the difference I see.

In 1492, a lot of bored, mentally unsettled young men in Europe were roped into a plan as a disciplined, trained and armed force crossing the Atlantic in boats in search of riches. The nature of the adventure is well documented torture and rape and pillage and enslavement and murder of millions of people. I was born 450 years after the bloody affair began and after all the people of a darker skin color throughout North and South America had been subjugated to a life in service to the dominant white culture. At the present time, the entertainment freaks are way out in the lead, worldwide. They have a web you have attached yourself and your family to. Like a spider, it catches prey quite effectively. That's about the size of it. The people caught in the web believe they have found freedom and praise the spider and bow to it.

Amazing, how the other way hangs around, though. Tough little bastard, I reckon. Undeniable. It attracts the hearts of people; and at its own pace. I am certainly grateful for the chance that came my way at a critical point in my life to catch a ride with the soaring bird of the winged life. So, I do not recommend any attempt to change those freaks, but the undertaking of a difficult quest by each individual to discover inner power of the person. Perhaps, in that way, some others will be inspired to rise above the ashes of the suffering world.

Nothing 5

Some special quality I experience in a person makes me label that one a friend of mine. It is not the name or the address or the credentials, or the values and traditions, or the looks, or even the personality. It is in spite of all that. A friend is one I have beheld as timeless, nameless purity.

“What ever do you mean by purity?” you may ask. Fuck, I don't know. And, that's it! Purity cannot be anything else.

So, now I am contented to look at people searching for that nameless purity, and nothing else, until I see it. Whenever I see it, I shall embrace it! If I should never again see that person as my friend, so be it. It means that one has decided to hide the friend within from me. As a waterfall contains a power of awesome strength a human being contains a nameless purity of soul.

A true friend cannot be anything else. 

DYLAN'S DIFFERENT, All RIGHT

Why has it been the rule that so many...all...other performers, singers, musicians who work with and know Bob Dylan say, “He's a very private person” when asked to talk about him?

My take on it is that what he is about, has always been about, is so alien to others, even ones who do what appears to be the same work as he does, that they can only express it as, he's different. That much is clear to them. Among the paid commentators, and critics, who philosophize, disgrace, and criticize all fears, some try to go deeper and settle on reporting that he was able in the space of a performance to enter into a song and live through it and that is what the audience who got him saw and heard and felt, and to an extent it's true, but, the real power of Dylan, the private person, lies in the fact he is singing what he lives all day in the hope you, the listener, will also know you are what he is telling you you ought not be...do not have to be, and that telling is not in the music nor the words of the song but from the core of it, making use of music and lyrics, live, onstage, to arouse his audiences- arouse us on our own behalf….for example, the early Dylan, known as the folksinger, sang a song entitled No More Auction Block For Me. For many it is a disagreeable noise that goes right past them and does not apply to them, they believe. For the rest it is heard as a song calling on white people to recognize the plight of black slaves and rise up to the cause of abolition. A very few realize this singer knows about real freedom and knows we, the white folks, do not have it, but could, and just as the black person who has thrown off his chains sings, we could sing. Dylan never served the music business. All those others did...and do still. In closing, is it not so that the slaveholder is as much a slave as the ones he believes to be his human property? Have you never watched a dog train its master on a walk in a city park? Or, watched a child train a parent? An employee train an employer? For Heaven's sake, have you never realized even for a moment how much you serve your cell phone? Your watch? To me, Dylan sings that none of these relationships are real, just a waste of precious time.

Dylan is a true friend. Oscar Wilde said, “A true friend will stab you in the front.” I sometimes miss my true friend. I miss the gifts sent my way. The music. The images. The messages from a secret heart cavern. I thought these things this morning early while watching dawn break in an imperceptible motion of lights. Decided to tell you. Please stab me some more.