IF WE MURDERED BILLY

GOT AWAY WITH IT

that's our burden

Well, if we can murder Billy the Kid and get away with it, mankind is doomed.

There is a disease for which no doctor has a name nor a cure. It is the disease that comes from being unconscious that one's greatness lies in utter weakness. It kills more than any disease named or to be named ever. Well, if we can murder Billy the Kid and get away with it, nobody has a chance.

If a soul so large as that of Jesus Christ cannot influence people to turn away from self promotion in order to practice love, what chance have you or I?

Billy said, I am not afraid of dying, I just do not want to be killed like a dog, unarmed. So, I'll keep on shooting until I run out of bullets. Fuck it! Is this all fake? There is no chance for mankind, a fiction, but there is a chance that never expires for an individual. Every attempt by people to create an organization among men and women is absent truth. It is like a farmer trying to grow a crop with soil and water in the absence of seed. Things are on Earth as they are. Only the meek get it. So, we don't get away with it.

I think this. People who despise honesty in sexual behavior and think they can make a better world by controlling others will soon have deep, ugly, twisted, filthy desires of their own they are hiding. So we don't get away with it. That disease makes them so furious. These poor souls suffer in the belief none are they who love truly. People who oppose the freedom to be whoever I am cannot be trusted for every child knows all of us are just that and that alone and want to make love of it.

A whore is at least honest in one thing. The whore makes it plain she or he makes no claim to respectability in society's eyes. Far more honest is she than the reputable business people who sell things like shoes or houses or deodorants or ice cream cones or pharmaceuticals or legal services or medical treatment or Bibles. And vastly more honest is she than those who enforce the laws and those who defend the accused. It is simple really. Those people just listed make the bold statement every day and throughout every day that they are indeed respectable people and yet know better in their hearts. Thus do their lies pile up. So we don't get away with it.

The first thing to go on the road to freedom and peace is reputation. I do not want you to think me an honest man. I want to be one. For I see how much greater is the life of such a one. I seek a great life not material wealth. I do not oppose you, whoever you are, I just wanna make love with you. Like I said, I am not respectable.

The next to go on the road to freedom and peace is quarreling. One is not concerned with getting what one deserves anymore and, what is more, everybody you meet knows that about you without a word of it from you. Something murders you many times a day that loves the kids we murder. And, as you know, we can murder a kid in a thousand ways. Well, like I said, if we murdered the Kid and got away with it, that was our burden, back then. So, we don't get away with it. Only the broken disreputable will understand. Only the meek inherit the Earth. It is so as it shall be evermore.

It's always been up to you, as an individual, to decide. How to spend your cash as a going concern. What cash? Consciousness. What to practice paying your attention to. What matters, of course, is what will bring the greatest return. Is it greater to give than to receive? That is the question. Some have said it is more profitable to give away all that I have than to receive riches as my own. These two approaches differ dramatically. Just cannot do both. Which?

NO CHANCE FOR A FICTION

There is no chance for mankind, a fiction, but 

there is a chance that never expires for an 

individual. Every attempt by people to create an 

organization among men and women is absent 

truth. It is like a farmer trying to grow a crop with 

soil and water in the absence of seed. Things are 

on Earth as they are. Only the meek get it, so, we 

don't get away with nuthin'.

Wherever there is wisdom lurking about, no matter what the circumstance, there is always an answer to be found. 

A rut and a grove. Same thing and yet so different. It's a mystery. How can it be so? What is it makes so much of a difference that cannot be found with the most sensitive instrument? You look at a living creature and proclaim, There is life here! If you were asked to find the life you speak of and show us, could you? I once heard a learned physicist reveal that an equation that he works with to try and explain the Universe is not alive. It is a dead thing. It just lies there. One can command it to sit up and walk or fly, but it just lies there. What gives it its juice? A mystery?

Take music. Same thing. What makes us dance? Where is it? Where's the rhythm? We do not doubt its existence, too much obvious evidence. But where is it?

And where is the true God? The Power that believed in you? It believes in you still. How do I know that? You breathe, for one thing. That's what I want to talk about.

A man or woman can be in a penitentiary wearing a prescribed drab uniform under armed guard always inside a fence taking orders about every detail of the day's activities and yet BE FREE. Another living person can be the owner of several mansions overlooking stunning views complete with lots of large closets of designer clothing and drive five automobiles anywhere and anytime he wants and spend money in unlimited amounts be rich and famous and BE A PRISONER. A rut and a groove. What really matters to you?

A teacher once told of searching for poverty. His journey took him to the slums of India. Seeing a little boy in the slum who wore only a torn shirt, no pants and no shoes, laughing as he ran rolling a tire down a dusty road with a stick the man knew he witnessed joy. And he asked me, Where is the poverty? A rut and a groove. It is important is it not to understand this world we live in? To live in mystery and be secure is an art. Wherever there is wisdom lurking about, no matter what the circumstance, there is always an answer to be found. Can you trust a mystery? As a mystery? No explanation necessary? I, myself, have experienced a slum dwelling wherein I bathed in light and joy. Do you know of such a thing as that? I bet you do. Dig in. The art lies hidden. Look beneath the surface of things.

I heard about a man famous for building bridges all over the world. He was proud of his work to join cities, he said. As I see it, we need to be about the business of building another kind of bridge. Such a building as that is not done with plans and drawings and heavy machinery. A building that is done in stillness, listening to and watching nothing, connects what has been disconnected by the building of bridges that connect cities. Have you noticed how the bridges between cities can actually divide us and facilitate invasion then war?

This morning while listening to a song about Bob Dylan fighting with his twin, the enemy within, I glimpsed a ray of light new to me. Who is that twin we all know about? If one is made of thoughts, well, it is the antithesis of every idea you have adopted as to who you are. It cannot be helped that when I say I like chocolate I also create a thought that I do not like it. These thoughts come like a wildfire at times, all day long and into the night and even when I dream. So, I am building two identities constantly. Opposites. And it is like one of them is considered to be normal me and the other is shunned, rejected and in some way sentenced to remain in a cellar within me where I keep monsters. That one is not about to behave willingly. It wants to live to violate my rules against it. This struggle is normal for anybody who thinks he or she lives inside a society with a name. Why? One must believe one is created by thought as a prerequisite to choosing membership in a society that is definitely created by thought.

I write only to suggest to those who experience what is discussed above that you may not be made of thought. Actually, you can find out for yourself whether it is so. Do not take my word for it. Years ago, someone suggested to me that I really do not end at the surface of my skin. It was told that the farthest part of me extends beyond the farthest star in the Universe. What I know is that upon hearing that I experienced a feeling that I would describe as infinite. It lasted only a brief time and was gone. Now, many years later, I experience it daily when I am willing to sit still and simply be for an hour.

So, if I am correct in my suggestion, then the so-called science of the mind is all dedicated to the study of who we are not. It (who we are not) is in a war, within and without. We feed it pills to ease the pain of living that way. Is that foolish? Find out.

Unconsciousness. What is it? We think. We think of many things. Someday make a list of the things you think about. I bet it will be a long one. But one thing will be missing from the list for you never think about it. What is it? The only answer is that it is the one thing you never think about. Know what that is?

There is the empty space out of which thoughts arise. It exists. Do you doubt its existence? It is impossible to doubt, is it not? Stop even for a moment your thinking. Thinking, you learn, comes and it goes. It is and it is not. That which can be taken away is not real.

Let's play a game. You are a man. Pretend for a moment you are in a financial crisis. You are very worried. Afraid. Upset. You pull your hair. Curse God. Hate everybody. Then a beautiful woman comes into the room where you are who walks seductively to your table and asks a simple question of you. Just a small favor. Something you know you can do for her easily and well. She has the most appealing smile you have ever seen. You fall in love instantly.

You have no financial problem. Whatever can be erased like that is not real. Nothing that can be thought is real or true. Only what everybody agrees upon is true. Argument is a waste of time and effort. There is one problem, it is the father of all the others you have. In a place where there are no problems you arose. While there you were without troubles of any kind. You left. When you left the place where problems are not you found where problems abound. You stayed one day too long there. You forgot home. I am to remind you.

True meditation, and there is a lot that goes by its name that is false, is simply a visit home. There is a discovery to renew and renew daily. What is it? It is the understanding that nobody is meditating. Nobody, that is, who can be named or even thought about. A real no-body in other words. You know it better than you know anything else. Perhaps, even, it is better said that it is all you really know. You are the sum of all that is true which includes all things and is greater than the sum of all things. Do not even try thinking about it. Behold instead a swan!

It seems I have spent a great deal too much time these days in the company of people who talk about freedom but go home to their jail cells and enjoy the lace curtains and 50 new channels of entertainment the warden installed to make them happy prisoners. They call this “my new way of life” and say they are grateful. Hmm. 

One's ego is shaped by your enemies. That is what it is for...to fight and defend against attacks. And, it stands as a wall against your friends. It is a very limiting device. Cripplingly so. It tells you that life is difficult. It tells you to be afraid. It tells you life will be better at some future time (which never comes). Its purpose is war with everybody you encounter, even your family. So, why keep it? What would you be like without one? Ask yourself. Ego tells you that you would be nobody but for it. Have you ever experienced the true experience of actually being NOBODY? Dare you? Ask yourself. Think about it. Look, the ego is what the therapist will treat should you visit one. Next time, ask the therapist if it is okay for you to leave your ego at the office of therapy and go home as your ego-less being. One thing I'll tell. Ego-less Nobody has no enemies. 

As I see it, it is a world where kids are told they are free and at the same time expected to be compliant with arbitrary rules. Enough it is to drive anybody mad. Here is an interesting thing. Kids who exhibit creativity, self-esteem, and independence are most likely of all to be in trouble with the rules. So, a kid is labeled. You are one of these, he or she is told. The label amounts to, You are unable to comply with minimum standards as we define them for being treated as a normal person. You will be required to change yourself or be ostracized or put on meds. Result: kids on the honor role are weak, frightened, uncreative parrots or imitators with low self-esteem and bound to be future leaders. Look around you. Where does change, real change, come from? Troublemakers?