What's all this talk

in religious or spiritual language? I do not trust lingo that presumes in advance I agree it has meaning.

Its direction seems always to be pointing out that I should be more than I am. I suspect it is the language of people who are sure of themselves and who want something. If the only purpose of it is to lure minds into a nonexistent world of imagination and belief I am not interested. I have been there. I consider myself fortunate, blessed even, to have escaped such nonsense with my life. Perhaps the allure of all that language to a human being is a promise someday things will change and I will understand. But if it cannot deliver the goods, what then? It has been spoken and written for a very long time without those hoped for results materializing. For many the promise is all about a life after death. What about now? I am alive. I yearn. Somebody said, life has no purpose, make one up. That makes no sense. Purpose by definition, cannot be falsified. Has anybody here seen dignity? Bob?

I choose one term out of the bag of words with either no meaning or 1000 meanings, take your pick. The same. The word I choose is soul. I will look for mine. When I find it, I will say, Oh, there you are. And caress it and in that caress give myself to it where I find it and be done with all else that is not it.

I look for what in me is restless, discontent. What I find I will console and make content, or die in the attempt. I seek something or someone who has been rejected, left out, abandoned. I need some realization not some pacifier. It is not in the word soul I will find it. I seek to know me as I am where I am in the situation I find myself to be doing what I am doing with my chance called life. I want the truth of it.

In that yearning I sense what is stirring me to seek it. It is not too late. Nor is it too soon.