Somethin’ simple needs to be heard. Kindness is not a process learned over time by practice through effort. That behavior is false, empty and unsatisfying. Its source selfishness. Kindness is just what you do. Suddenly it is your way. One second before it was not of you to be kind. Seeing this will save a lot of trouble and struggle and confusion and doubt and waste of energy. Best of all, you will meet yourself as if for the first time. First step, then, is an admission,  “I am unkindness”. Study on the unkindness you are. Be it. Some stranger will do the seeing on your behalf.